Learning How to Sleep

(Note: The “Podcast” is actually a Yoga Nidra style meditation you can download and use anytime you’d like. It’s the most beneficial ritual to do before bed to not only get to sleep, but stay asleep)

I will be the first to admit that sleep is probably my least favorite subject and honestly not something that has always come naturally to me…

In fact, growing up I slept with the television on and it wasn’t until Ben (my now husband) moved in with me in our early 20s that I even considered going to sleep without the flashing lights and background noise.

This wasn’t an easy conversation and didn’t come without a fight. I figured he was moving into my loft, so my rules applied to our sleeping situations. We are very balanced in our heated conversations and have always had really healthy communication in regard to listening to one another. But this one was really hard for me.

I actually refused to even entertain the conversation for a while. My immature, egotistical, stubbornness simply wouldn’t budge. After a few weeks, I eventually came to the realization that the fuel behind this inability to listen to my love’s request for a more sacred bedroom was that I was scared I would never fall asleep.

I was scared I would never fall asleep…

And if I didn’t sleep, I wouldn’t be cognitive enough to teach all the yoga flows and dance classes I would need to teach the next day. My body would be too tired to move and my brain wouldn’t be able to come up with the choreography much less remember it. I would honestly freak out- some may call it anxiety- I called it being so devoted to my jobs that I was willing to rob myself and my partner from the sacredness of sleep because all I cared about or even knew about was waking hours. The only thing I valued was my time awake.

It must be known, I’m now married to Ben and he did eventually “win” that argument and for the past 15 years I have not once gone to sleep with a television on- but I often joke that I really feel like the one who “won” because breaking that habit was hands down one of the healthiest things that ever happened to me.

I will admit, though, it took a long while for me to “learn” how to sleep. And I think it’s something that isn’t talked about enough. We think that we should just know how to sleep and how to get to sleep. But in truth, unless we have had extremely healthy rituals and/or practices around this our entire lives, it is likely something that more people struggle with than we realize.

I have never taken sleeping pills so I can’t speak to that subject, but I know that there was a period of time in my life (multiple periods if I’m honest) where I was trying just about anything to LEARN how to go to sleep… and stay asleep.

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Here are some of the things that have worked for me over the years:

• Magnesium Supplements: one capsule before bed- note: not all magnesium is created equally. This is one of the absolute best in the game.

• No Screens: I would put my phone in another room completely and used THIS clock instead- it has calming sounds and an alarm that feels good to wake up to should you need an alarm.

• Salt Bath: Soaking in magnesium before bed helps the body absorb it through the skin and relaxes the muscles. This brand was my go-to.

• Sounds of Nature: Open windows if you can. If not, consider soft nature sounds through the night.

• Gratitude Journal: I liked to do this IN bed right before I closed my eyes- write a gratitude list. My ritual: be specific and never write the same thing twice. Ex: I am grateful for my children, but I must write something specific that makes me grateful for their presence in my life. The beauty of this practice is you go to bed with a grateful heart- you’re focused on the things you’re grateful for before you doze off into the dreamland instead of your mind looping all you’re worried or stressed about.

• Sacred Wind-Down: Get ready for sleep… This sounds so obvious, but so often we pretty much go from fully wired to sleep mode and then wonder why we can’t wind down/go to sleep. This was so much of my reality forever. Move intentionally from wakefulness to rest- no screens, no last-minute calls, texts, or emails, and no overstimulation. Shift the rhythm slowly and noticeably.

• Sleep Prep Playlist: As soon as dinner is done, dishes are clean, and we are in wind down mode, I play THIS playlist throughout the entire house. It changes the mood and calms the energy instantly. Plus, when my children hear it, their bodies naturally begin to register that it’s time to relax and turn the energy down.

• Low Lighting: Once the sun goes down, dim the lights. We avoid overhead lighting as much as possible after sunset. I used to use lightbulbs from Bon Charge ; however, now it’s not as accessible since we’re living abroad so we use my prayer shawls draped over the lamps. (Looking for a more affordable blue light blocking lightbulb? Try THESE).

• Light Candles: This makes nighttime feel sacred and special for yourself and your children. I believe that anytime we light a candle, we are inviting God, our angels, and ancestors into our fields… As I light the candles, I always pray this prayer in the evenings: May this entire house and all the beings within it be wrapped in the light of love all night long. I love these beeswax candles. I haven’t been able to find them in Bali, but my goodness do I miss them.

• Reading: A lovely read before bed has been wonderful for my soul. This is not my time to read for the sake of learning… merely pleasure and I am always conscious of choosing books that are not too stimulating- juts wonderful, rich stories. I find that reading in the evening is a beautiful bridge between the energy of waking life and the restoration of deep sleep. I use a red reading light from Bon Charge, but here is another option that’s a bit more affordable (great for airplanes also). Here is a reading list of fiction (mostly historic fiction) that I have read, thoroughly enjoyed, and didn’t feel wildly stimulated by.

• Yoga Nidra: a guided meditation practice that brings the body into deep relaxation while keeping the mind gently aware, helping release stress and restore the nervous system for more restful sleep. I find this incredibly beneficial before sleep (and anytime I need to restore). I have included an audio you can save and download to revisit often for paid subscribers.

For years, I needed these practices like medicine… I mean I required them. But now? I don’t. Since moving to Bali, my sleep has grown deeper and richer than I ever thought possible. Don’t get me wrong, I still keep many of these rituals because they make life feel sacred, but I no longer need them to fall asleep.

To be clear, Bali doesn’t make me sleep well… but living in alignment with the truth of my soul certainly does. But more on that in Part Two, which you’ll receive in your inbox next week. Part Two makes me really jazzed because we deep dive into the science and mysticism of Sleep Alchemy—why living the life of your dreams makes sleep so much easier, and the irony that sleep itself then becomes the very portal that can help us activate those dreams. Such juice!

In the upcoming post, I will also share a POWERFUL sleep alchemy meditation you can download and use before sleep to help you rest deeper, dream with intention, and awaken more radiant than ever along with a prayer to say before bed that will activate so much magic in dreamworld and waking life.

If you aren’t already, take a moment to subscribe and/or upgrade so you can receive these ceremonial offerings, which I share because they are the practices and rituals that have completely changed my life in ways I never dreamed possible. I know they work because I have experienced the results firsthand… and now, I really don’t NEED them. It’s honestly a miracle.

Sending loads of love to you all and prayers for sweet dreams and deep sleep. I pray the Yoga Nidra Meditation serves you well (download it so you can have easy access to it anytime you need to restore and drop deeply into yourself via complete surrender and relaxation).

“Your future depends on your dreams, so go to sleep.”

Mesut Barazany

Thank you for being here. It means so much to me.

In Reverence,

Alee